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Thought of changing my name…Oh! What’s in a name?

And yes, I did just recently re-watch Lion King with my toddler, BUT it’s definitely a question that comes up with each of my couples when we’re planning the ceremony. I usually ask how they’d like me to announce them after signing their wedding certificates and officially becoming married. Would you like Mr/s and Mr/s…Fabulously Happy, absolutely, but anything else?

Trust me, I understand the importance of names. My husband and I had a raging eight day argument following the recent birth of our daughter. There were loads of hotly discussed options, and in the end, we settled on the one that neither of us had openly verbalised hatred for. But the discussion stung us for weeks afterwards, and it took me back to the time when we were getting married and I whole-heartedly held to the fact that I would not be changing my surname. Weirdly, I was ok with the kids having his surname, but my name was mine, and linked me to my forefathers and my heritage. I had walked with it my entire life, have had it mocked and mispronounced by all and sundry for as long as I can remember, and now wear it proudly as a badge of honour. Kiki Skountzos. (Pronounced SkOONzos, not entirely dissimilar to barbeque sauce.)

Some couples have flinched a little at the question, how would you like me to announce you? Often one party has felt strongly one way, the other for another. It’s tough when one wants to change it or keep it because it’s such a deeply personal decision and certainly takes some thoughtfulness to metabolise. Some cannot wait to get rid of their surnames and their association with it and for others this is a non-issue because their decision is straightforward.

Sometimes I announce couples with a particular surname even if one party has no intention of changing it legally, and other times I might announce a composition – a hyphenated surname for them both to signify their newly forged family. As a celebrant, I am in full support of whatever you want. It’s entirely your decision on the day, and actually has no legal ramifications – I can announce you as Mr/s and Mr/s Disgustingly, In-Your-Face Just Married, and you can continue the happy discussion for as long as you both need to. In any event, after I file your paperwork to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages in the State that we perform your marriage in, you can then apply for an official Certificate of Marriage and proceed with the name change process in your residential state. Information about applying for your Official Certificate of Marriage in NSW is available here, and applying to change your name for NSW residents is available here. Good luck, Mr/s and Mr/s whatever the heck you decide to call yourselves! We’ll all be waiting with baited breath for your final decision.