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Q: What’s the hardest thing about being a celebrant?

A: I’m going to be super honest here: being resentful about my own marriage and then sitting in front of a computer to write a wedding ceremony, all about the love story of SOMEONE ELSE!

Ohhh, I tell you, it’s the WORST!!

I’ve had months upon months of ceremonial constipation in the years since I’ve become a celebrant. I’ve faffed over email and phone calls to my couples about how their ceremony is “coming along beautifully” when in reality I’ve felt revolting waves of writer’s block, unsurprisingly coinciding with particularly tough times in the trenches with my husband as we’ve struggled to rally around our relationship and raise our young family in captivity…and not murder each other in the process!

While my couples’ lives were exploding with true love and palpable optimism, their dewy, hopeful eyes turned towards the horizon… my eyes would be turned towards the refrigerator and microwave while my husband’s eyes would be glued to his phone. Romance had vanished; and during these times it’s particularly laughable to think of myself as having any capacity or authority to marry people. Ha!

And yet…at the start of 2022 (literally less than a fortnight ago!) I found my mojo again. And it had nothing to do with my marriage or any challenge magically lifting overnight. It was actually a few of my current couples who helped me fall in love again with being a celebrant!

On 1 January I had a particularly strained conversation with my husband in the kitchen of our mouldy, cockroach fiesta apartment in Sydney’s highly sought-after Inner West, that went a little something like this:

Me: So it’s 1 January.

Him: Mmm?

Me: YOU PROMISED ME YOU’D TAKE THE KIDS AWAY FOR THREE DAYS SO I CAN WRITE MY WEDDING CEREMONIES!!

Him: Well…WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO WITH THEM??

Me: That’s IT!! I’M GOING TO BOOK A MURRAYS BUS AND GO TO CANBERRA TO STAY AT MY MOTHERS!! (exits with phone in hand to action plan of total desperation!)

45 minutes later, I was on the blessed Murrays, eating a lunchbox filled with pasta my husband had cooked and packed for me, with big, hot tears rolling down my face because I felt so…relieved to have miraculously made the bus, but also humbled that he’d cooked and obviously DID still love me because he packed me off with food! (Note: food in our house means EVERYTHING, so this gesture spoke volumes!)

Arriving a mere three and a half hours later at my childhood home, I set up residence at mum’s dinning room table for a special writer’s retreat. Away from the clamour and endless laundry and unwashed dishes, I could think and breathe and get under the skin of my couples. I read and re-read their stories, and with laptop open, began the slow torture of writing a ceremony. And, within the hour, suddenly I was in flow again. Words poured onto the screen with ease, and within two days I had drafted two ceremonies that I was absolutely tickled with! But most importantly, I remembered why I love being a celebrant – for the joy and mighty privilege to be invited to hear, write and share someone’s love story.

Celebrating the heck out of my couples keeps love in the front seat of my heart. And for me, that’s the easiest part about being a celebrant!

Special shout out to Kar Mee and Miles, Sotiri and Zilinka. Your love has literally changed my life! xx